My boyfriend and I came down to Boston for our Valentine/Anniversary weekend, and we had fun, mostly…
We stayed at the College Club of Boston, and couldn’t have found a more romantic setting for what we paid. The room was beautiful, filled with antique bureaus, desk, and table, with window views of skyscrapers, the John Hancock building, and the Old South Church, I think, out another window – and although the bed could be updated, the bathroom was very modern – creating a dichotomous mix of old and new world.
Arriving around 7:00 p.m., we were ready to eat, and had a dinner certificate at a place that looked easy to find on the map, but once we were in the area my beau’s phone GPS couldn’t find it, and the kitchen was soon closing. I was feeling more and more stressed out, and started blaming my boyfriend in my head, coming back to the blameless situation we were in when I took a second to just breathe, and then felt ashamed for my changed attitude, which he felt but had no idea where that shit was coming from. I apologized for stressing out on him, and suggested we just find somewhere still serving food – especially because I was wearing my short black dress with calf-high boots, but had forgotten to pack nylons so I was bare-legged, and now freezing after walking around for 45 minutes in 23°F temps, even if I did have an appropriate winter jacket on. I silently fumed about how women go through these ridiculous gymnastics of physical constraints in high-heeled footwear, and fashion, and face-painting, while men throw on a pair of new jeans and a shirt, and they’re good to go. I know there are plenty of men putting themselves through physical and mental contortions to attract women, as well as women who have no compunction to prettify themselves, but I see far more women trying to fit the media beauty mold than men.
To be fair, boyfriend would have been happy had I put on whatever makes me comfortable, but this was special, and I wanted to be dazzling, not ordinary. My efforts were much appreciated, but didn’t deserve the attitude I was throwing his way.
Once I gave up the mission I was on and accepted our present circumstances, the night became much better. We found The Bell In Hand Tavern and missed dinner by minutes, but ordered off their bar menu (don’t order the Grilled Cheese & Tomato unless you like American cheese on white bread with mealy tomatoes, but the Waffle Fries and Chicken Tenders were great!). A rock band was playing in the bar area, while we were sitting in the dining area that piped in Top 40 tunes, so the discordance was somewhat hard to take, but once we finished eating and went into the bar area, the band was pretty good. They had a great mix of old and new tunes, and the mostly college-aged crowd were having a great time, dancing and engaging in Young American mating rituals.
I was so glad to be out of that meat-market vibe – and I never liked it even when I was college-aged. That’s probably why I didn’t date much when I was younger, well, that and the few guys I ever met at bars ended up being bad ideas.
Today, the snow wasn’t supposed to start until later in the afternoon in Boston, but it began around noon and stayed steady. We decided to go have lunch, and then see a few historical sites. By 2:00 p.m. the snow was heavier and made our sightseeing less see or sight. Boyfriend and I weren’t as chipper as we had been yesterday, and I was ready to head home. especially because the forecast was for 3 – 7 inches of snow in Boston, while Western MA was forecasting an inch at most, an ironic twist on the usual weather patterns in this area. The ride home was more enervating than the going had been, and the relentless snow made driving home treacherous, especially as it got dark.
Traveling on, I thought about this first year together, and started a conversation about highlights, and soon we were in happy remembrance more than focusing on the terrible conditions.
Bottom line is my life has been radically improved, and I am so grateful my soul mate found me, and remained through my traumatized soul’s doubts and self-sabotage attempts. He knows how much work I am, even though I don’t want, or try, to be. I’ve found my heart’s desire: a man who loves and likes me as much as I love and like him. Valentine’s Day might be a made up holiday linking gruesome martyrdom with romantic love, candy, cards, and flowers, but celebrating love will never go out of vogue.
© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.