The intensity of playing Blanche DuBois is slowly receding, but we have a pick-up rehearsal on Thursday, and then the last shows over next weekend. I’ve been sad that we’ve had a sparse audience, but happy that we’ve got a great show – well worth the $12 dollar ticket price.
It’s been an interesting journey, and I have much more confidence that I can tackle most anything now. I understand Blanche the way I was always going to understand her, but more deeply now. She has much more depth, and even strength, than I’ve heard most people attribute to her, but Blanche is doomed, no matter what.
My dreams keep writing Blanche’s character differently. She has more to say, and isn’t alright with her fate as written. That’s good news, isn’t it? My psyche isn’t willing to resign her to what’s been told. In my mind, she heals in the institution. Her psychotic break isn’t permanent. The beauty of that ending is that I know it happens. People go through horrific things and continue on, relatively intact.
I gave my best performances, and will continue to. I have enjoyed evolving through each night. I find a different nuance to Blanche’s character, or a better way to interact with the other characters. Theater is beautiful because unlike life, you get to do the same thing over and over, and maybe not create different results, but bring something more to each performance.
© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.