Weekly Photo Challenge: Together

I do feel happy when I look at these cats, and I hope they continue to inspire more happiness.  It seems as though they are salt and pepper shakers, but they’re just figurines.  When I first took the picture, I didn’t notice the reflection in the table, but I think it gives depth to the photograph.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Through The Years

My son is getting his first apartment with college friends.  I’m pretending it’s not a big deal.  I mean, he’s been away at college for two years now, so, it’s basically the same thing.  Except it isn’t.  He’s had his bed and most of his stuff here, and in three days and several hours, it will all be gone.  I’m trying to stay in the moment, and not trouble trouble until trouble troubles me, as the saying goes.

I was in my son’s room packing up what I can until he gets here and pares down what he wants to get rid of.  He already told me he’s not sentimental and doesn’t want his old school year books, or photos, or other keepsakes, but I am sentimental, so I’m keeping most of it.  He may have a wife and/or children some day who will actually enjoy seeing some of the things from his youth.  It isn’t exactly archeology, but it is history, and I loved seeing my ex-boyfriends’ childhood pictures.  It’s a way to connect the past to the present and beyond.  I so enjoy looking at my Mom and Dad’s pictures of their youth and childhood.  Ever since my Dad died several years ago, those pictures have taken on more meaning.  Even though I often rail against life, I also revel in life’s complexity and variety.  I embrace change as much as I loathe it.  I may not like changing all the time, but as long as I have company, it’s really not too bad.

I’ll be fine with this new life passage, I’m just not overjoyed.  I also know that many people are overjoyed to have their personal time back when their children get older and leave home, and maybe I’ll feel that way, eventually.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Back Home

I traveled with my son to Oregon to see his big sister and meet her family this past week.  It was an amazing trip, and not nearly enough time.

I’m sad today because we’ve been home two days now, and I finally caught up on sleep, and necessary life tasks, and have time to reflect on our short visit and how much I miss being with my son, and how we hadn’t seen his sister for ten years!

She’s always been in my heart, and I think I waited for her to make contact because I’m not really anything to her except her brother’s Mom, since her Dad and I parted (and her Dad and I had a strained relationship for so long), and I didn’t want to impose on her.  She was busy with college and work and living.

I think I was wrong.  I should have pushed it more, then all that time wouldn’t have gone by without connection.  Mostly, I felt that it was up to them.  My son and his sister kept in touch by email, and with Facebook, and I don’t care what the new ‘norm’ is – Facebook, Skype, email, etcetera – do not replace meeting in person!  No electronic media approaches being in someone’s physical presence.  There are articles saying that people have less need to meet in person because they’re so connected electronically.  Excuse me?  These are human beings were talking about, right?  Does anyone remember the psychological studies about the need for touch?

I don’t doubt that we connect through social media – and it may even save people’s lives – but it cannot replace face to face contact.  Being present with those we love fosters communion, strengthens bonds, and rejuvenates our spirits.  Physical presence stimulates all sorts of neuro-chemical reactions that help us thrive.

I never think I can love someone more than I do until I am with them.  Maybe I don’t love them more, but I am reminded anew why I feel so strongly about them, and how much they add to my life.  Maybe Skype, and the like, approximates that because you can see and hear the other person, or people, but you can’t touch them – and that will always be missing – even when ‘touch’ becomes available artificially.

Regardless, I know that saying: ‘don’t be sad because it’s over; be glad that it happened’, and I am, but also, stop trying to take my sadness from me!  Being sad is as much a part of my condition as being happy is.  I’d like the balance to reflect more of the ‘good’ feelings, as do we all, I would hope.  I’ll feel better in a few more days as our trip recedes into deeper memory, but the feelings are visceral now because I know what I’m missing.  I don’t want ten more years to go by before we’re in their presence again!

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Journey

I was in Providence, Rhode Island, last summer with one of my sisters and a couple of friends, and I liked this area’s composition.  We were on a casual journey, walking all over the city, having a fantastic time.

 

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Tug Of War

Four of us sat at the red and white checkerboard-cloth covered picnic table, eating, sipping our drinks, and mulling over the presentation we had attended earlier.  The speaker called us to action on behalf of our nation, to use our bodies and minds to stop and reverse the change in course from Democracy to Plutocracy.

Every age has its challenges, but we’ve been ruled by the monied class before, and it only ever benefits the wealthy, who are, and always will be, the few.  Democracy is about all of us having a stake in our country, all of us having a voice – being represented – even if imperfectly.

I felt a great camaraderie with those in the room cheering the speaker’s words, but I wondered whether we’d heed the warning as the hall emptied out into the night.

As the group of us sat discussing her thesis and what we could do, I remembered that every action has ripples, and constant repetition of similar ideas converts thought to action, initiating change.

I remember playing Tug of War in grade school, and how hard I pulled to avoid being dragged through the mud.  We knew the winning team would be whomever had the strongest players, and not merely the highest numbers.  The game was only played on special days, like Field Day, and our teacher, believing in fairness, wouldn’t allow all the strongest players one on side.  Even when there wasn’t a fair-minded adult overseeing those kinds of games, I would always quit if my team was too unevenly matched.  Who wants that?  I think many of us have given up in our political Tug of War because we see how unevenly matched we are.  But I want to be like my teacher, and do what I can to make it a fairer fight.

We were the soul occupants on the enclosed, well heated, and dimly lit restaurant porch, which seemed to solidify our sense of fellowship as the night wore on, bringing our thoughts to the more personal concerns and cares of our daily lives.  We spoke of our children, the challenges of raising them, and of them leaving home.  We talked of loved ones dying, of aging parents, and dealing with those griefs.  A deeper kinship was borne out of that personal circumstance than the affinity of strangers wedded to a common cause I felt earlier that evening.

Change happens for me when something I need and/or care about is jeopardized, damaged, or lost.  I desire stasis in my life, but that requires forever correcting my course, when I thought it meant finding my true path and the rest of my life would be easy, or somehow self-regulating.  I know now, more than I ever have, that there is no retiring – that I’m always in the game.  If I’m not strong enough to maintain the pull on my side of the mud patch, I need to call others to my side – and maybe even take a break until I’m strong enough to get back in the fight.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.