My son came home last night so we could get up early and get on the road with all his belongings (which turned out to be less than anticipated because I’ll be storing some for him). It started raining sometime in the night, even though the forecast only called for showers. By 8am, it was raining steadily, with no sign of stopping.
The pattern of communication between my son and I, when I’m stressed, is that I get louder, and he gets quieter. That’s fine to diffuse most situations between us. It did nothing to improve this morning’s issues. He’s an engineer – an electrical engineer. I am a person with an excess of lived experience. He doesn’t like anything that’s inefficient. I am all about process. I’m also an expert at packing – even if it appears to be less efficient than an automated process might be. Even though I’m a fairly articulate person, my son makes me feel like anything I say isn’t understandable, or relevant.
Not only were we trying to tie a box-spring and mattress onto the top of the car, we were standing in the cold rain arguing over the best way to secure them. We had rope and bungee cords, but I knew how to do it practically, and he knew how to do it theoretically. The rain drenched us by the time the bed was secured on the car roof, and the car was packed. We would have been soaked even if we hadn’t argued, and the only upside was that I saw that I was never banshee-esque without reason during my son’s childhood. I bet even Gandhi had shitty days.
Once we got on the road everything was fine, but it rained the entire drive to Boston, and we couldn’t go over 60 mph or the bed started wobbling around too much. I still think that if I had secured the bed the way I originally had wanted, that might not have happened.
When we got into Boston, I found out that my son and his dorm-mate hadn’t moved the rest of their belongings to their new place so we spent the afternoon moving their dorm stuff as well. My son told me later that a couple of his friends had offered to help, but he declined. (If that doesn’t make you want to ring his neck, then you should be sainted.)
My son did help me narrowly avoid a deluge when we took the bed off the car roof, so I forgave him the refusal of extra help. The mattress was thoroughly soaked – even though we did our best to shield it with a tarp. It will probably take an entire week (if not more) for it to dry out, but at least he has egg-crate foam, a mat, and all his bedding to sleep on until then.
I’m glad I got to see where my son and his roommates are living, and to feel out the neighborhood. It’s not as bad as I feared, and I think they’ll be fine there. They just have to be savvy – as do we all. I tend to think that the worst things happen between people who know each other. Strangers often give us more leeway because we all know how difficult it is just to live.
Another humorous aspect of today is remembering an old saying that if you go out in a May Day rain, you’ll be protected from headaches for the year. My pounding head begs to differ.
© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.