My task is learning to deal with negative reactions. A while ago I heard ‘Mean Tweets’ on the Jimmy Kimmel show, and the horrible things people say about and to celebrities, and how those celebrities deal with that. Mostly they made fun of it, and humor is a great way to diffuse that kind of derision. Writing or speaking publicly about my life experience, and negative fall-out, is best handled by ignoring those comments, but if I want a dialogue, I need to respond, and be thoughtful about how I do that.

I have differences of opinion all the time, and do my best to be respectful, and kind – even if I feel the opposite at the time. I’ve had shared experiences with family and with friends, and we didn’t incorporate events the same way, but trying to invalidate my position with ad hominems or other aspersions only shows their lack of credibility.

Being liked and well-regarded matters to me, but speaking my truth is more important. Accepting the consequences is hard, but I’m not shutting up. They are as free to not read or listen to me, as I am to disregard their opinions.

In the 1980’s, when child sexual abuse was nationally disclosed by Oprah Winfrey, I’m sure she had backlash from family and from strangers. Then ‘false memory syndrome’ was coined by some asinine psychologist, and then applied to anyone who disclosed childhood abuse as an adult.

Sometimes traumatic events get blocked because your psyche cannot cope, and because all energy must go somewhere, that trauma ‘leaked’ or manifested in other ways, be it mental illness, or self-harming behavior. I think most people compartmentalize their trauma and get on with their lives, but triggering events happen eventually, or something brings it front & center, like a major illness, or mental break-down, forcing them to work through it, or face sometimes dire repercussions.

My goal is contentment, and serenity, and working through my issues is the only way I know to get there, regardless of how messy that might be, and if my words help anyone in similar circumstances, then it’s worth not shutting up.




© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Abstractly Distracted’s Blog, 2010 – current

Author: Hermionejh

Laughter is my drug.

6 thoughts on “Consequences”

  1. Totally agree. I speak my truth but it took a long time to get here. And even now, fall outs hurt and sometimes they cut me to my core… but not enough to keep me trapped in denying my own reality. I speak out in the hope that it’ll encourage others to speak out, seek help, or simply realize that none of us are the only one’s to have ever experienced such horror.

    I still have trigger issues and I know the only way I am going to get through my life is by refusing to let myself be defined by anything or anyone other than myself. Very well written post Jerri … touched to the core 🙂

    1. Thank you, Arman – and it’s not up for me everyday, but when it gets triggered, usually from multiple sources, I’m all over the map again, but writing always helps me correct course, and as healing, strength, and hope are the goals, I’ll keep on expressing myself. I appreciate your thoughts & your presence! xo Jerri

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