Marching Forth

People marching forthIt’s March Fourth today, and in honor of that exhortation, what do I need to do that? I’ve heard the ‘get a job, any job’ mantra, and while necessary to live, those of us with chronic pain and major depression, anxiety, and panic disorder, sometimes don’t fare well in the ‘any job is a good job’ category.

I’m an unpaid writer trying to find a living-wage writing.  I’m a singer who gets occasional gigs, usually amounting to gas money, but it does strengthen my will to live, so I’ll keep doing that.  Acting is much the same when you’re not getting anything but extra work, which basically makes me a paid prop.  ‘Stand here and smile.’  or ‘Stand here and look horrified.’ or ‘Stand there’ – and then, ‘sit over there’.   Still, it’s work I want to do – but with a speaking role – but not the kind of work that keeps a roof over my head.

big prize

So, there are other jobs to do outside of my dreams, like office work, and light house-keeping, but of all the resumes I’ve submitted in the last few months, I’ve gotten zero responses.

Not one interview.

That has added to my despair as much as anything else.  There are fewer jobs with more people applying for them, I get that, and perhaps I’m under-qualified or over-qualified, but I think the real issue is creative void.

I need to stoke my imagination, maybe get entrepreneurial, but with something that has a hope of a living-wage attached to it.

march to your own beat

Having supportive friends and allies helps, but I worry about wearing thin on them.  I don’t wish to hold the friend-in-trouble-heavyweight-title anymore.

my life map so far

Marching forth is apt, but instructions on doing that, that work for me, would be stellar.




© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Abstractly Distracted’s Blog, 2010 – current



Author: Hermionejh

Laughter is my drug.

3 thoughts on “Marching Forth”

  1. no heavy weight title awarded 😉 lean on and sometimes just lean back … we don’t always have to lean in and run ourselves ragged trying to keep up with it all

    1. Thank you Arman! Sorry for the late reply. I’ve been at a suicide prevention program, and sorting out my life & figuring out how to get structure, real time social interaction & employment. I realized I’d been really isolating myself and not keeping up, but I’m on track, and want to make this life liveable!! xo ❤

      1. That totally sounds like you have already taken the first steps in the journey of a thousand miles 😉 Best of luck!!!!! 😀

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