She’s so open to the world. She likes learning, and believes all that’s told her – she has no reason to doubt yet. She doesn’t know people manipulate and lie to get what they want, and she’s learning how to navigate the anger and family dysfunction around her.
Her sisters were everything to her, but it didn’t work the other way. Her oldest sister was kinder, and seemed so worldly. But that’s the way it is for younger siblings. The older ones seem wise and wonderful, even if they’re also often unkind.
She is always seeking. She looked for god and found only more questions, not the promised answers. She had to let it go so she could live.
Her life moved on, the pace quickening with each year. A son helped her grow & mature into a woman and mother, but the challenges mounted with little respite.
Time wore on, her son now a man off on his own, leaving her floundering for several years seeking stability and balance, and finally realizing nothing’s a permanent state but ongoing negotiations – or at least that’s how it is for her.
A room full of unanswered questions, and unrealized hopes & dreams stands open for cleaning and sorting, but where to begin?
Was it Mary Poppins who said that’s it’s always best to start at the beginning? Perhaps I just needed her to say that.
© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Abstractly Distracted’s Blog, 2010 – current