Hell Hath No Fury Like Mine

I’ve heard about those who lives are lived ‘in quiet desperation’, and we’ve all seen or witnessed loud desperation – those vivid, stark, images of traumatized humanity – children with bellies distended, flesh barely covering their bones, their mothers and fathers, if alive, often in the same condition.  These are the scenes that remind me why humanity is its own worst enemy.  If there is a God, do you think it’s going to make me burn for my disbelief while leaders who could relieve suffering, deny their people adequate food, and water, while directing their military to kill innocents, and rape their country’s women and children as a strategy?  Foreign aid rarely reaches those who need it, and brutal regimes are necessary to maintain power and control.

Maybe that’s the law of this world: use or be used, eat or be eaten.  It’s a vicious world when resources are slim or difficult to access.  Maybe God exists and is a bastard, but I would never give fealty to such a one, even though it could mean unending torment.  Perhaps, God is, as I suspect, the greatest farce ever perpetrated on humanity.  Their book, a clever, self-fulfilling prophecy.  Anyone can include facts in a narrative in an attempt to bolster their argument.  People have always had high intelligence or they wouldn’t have evolved as far as they have.  Adaptability is the key to survival, not necessarily brute strength or stellar skills, although those get you the furthest if you can adapt well.

My favorite Stephen F. Roberts quote is:

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”

I know I have it easy, living in a part of the world where resources are abundant and easily accessible.  Sadly, we all can’t live here, and I know many individuals and organizations do their best to give aid to those in need all over the world – but that need never ends.

Focusing on situations that I cannot effect, except by bringing attention to it, does not serve me in living my life.  I almost have a survivor guilt for the relative abundance in my life.  So, I can choose to enter the Peace Corps, or align with some other organization that serves the most destitute, desperate areas of the world  Or, I can remain selfishly in my own little world, doing my best to survive, and throwing my measly fifty dollars a year at problems fifty million would just begin to address.  I can also ‘pray for them’ so I feel better even though it does nothing for them.  If you’re a believer, you’ll smugly think to yourself that prayer works, but it only works if it impels you to act, and that action doesn’t need your prayers.

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?  Then he is not omnipotent.  Is he able, but not willing?  Then he is malevolent.  Is he both able and willing?  Then whence cometh evil?  Is he neither able nor willing?  Then why call him God?”
– Epicurus [341-270 B.C.]

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Last Night’s Storm

A huge crash of lightning and thunder snapped me awake at 3 this morning.  I lay in bed, watching as flashes of light illuminated the room, as though my neighborhood was enduring a crush of paparazzi.  What honor brought the heavenly clamor to my home?

The continuing storm unnerved me as it seemed stalled over the house, the pouring rain seeking entrance through the windows I rushed to close against the barrage.  Once secure, I lay in bed, wondering if the electricity would go off, but it didn’t.

Soon the winds and driving rain slowed, and the steady drum of gentler rain lulled me back to sleep.

The bright morning’s freshness required my appreciation as I stood on my porch this morning.  The sunlight’s slant highlighted my coffee steaming in its mug as I savored the fresh world around me: the Forget-Me-Not blue sky, the smell of ozone-laden air, the sparkling water-dropleted grass, and the deep earthen scent rising from the ground made me believe that my beloved Earth was sentiently grateful for the night’s drenching as much as I was to witness it.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

 

Despite

Despite the tears,

despite my fear,

despite the odds against me;

I will not stop, though I falter

I will not retreat, even if daunted.

A horizon lies before me – a goal to reach, if not to breach.

I don’t feel strong, and sometimes long

for the journey to be over.

And in the pit of grief,

the pitch-black surroundings,

I feel the light within me.

I am the only one of me that there will ever be,

I will not let you define me.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Is This Like The Guest Who Comes Late To The Dinner Party?

In April and May (of this year – thank goodness) I was nominated for three awards.  I did thank my wonderful fellow(ine?) bloggers at the time, and meant to post about them that week (what’s that saying about best intentions?)…

Time runs away, and while I didn’t forget about it, I’m lazy busy.  Ahem.  Please forgive me! :-/

My first two awards came from Emma at: http://emmabauer.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/sunshine-on-my-shoulders-makes-me-happy/ – The Sunshine Award, and the second, The Versatile Blogger Award: http://emmabauer.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/go-ahead-make-my-day/

I was bestowed with The Versatile Blogger Award by Renee Moore (http://pooterandboogersplace.wordpress.com/) last year, and feel I’ve fulfilled the requirements for that, so I shall fulfill the requirements for my other awards below.

My third, the One Lovely Blog Award, came from Diane at: http://hometogo232.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/one-lovely-blog-award/

I have updated the One Lovely Blog Award to: One Awesome Blog, because that encompasses more of what I like.

(You can view and copy these Award pngs here: https://seekingsearchingmeaning.wordpress.com/this-is-where-ive-written-something-about-myself/)  You need to scroll down past my introduction to find them.

Thank you so much Emma and Diane, (and Renee too!) for these kudos!

The Sunshine Award: Given to “bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”.

Nominate and link to ten blogs/bloggers that you believe worthy of this award:

Streams Of Consciousness http://brendamarroyauthor.com/

Joe Mohr’s Cartoon Archive http://joemohrtoons.com/

Happy Valley News http://happyvalleynews.wordpress.com/

Clotilda Jamcracker http://clotildajamcracker.wordpress.com/

Photo Nature Blog http://photonatureblog.com/

FrizzText Flickr Comments http://flickrcomments.wordpress.com/

Dean J. Baker http://deanjbaker.wordpress.com/

Bucket List Publications http://lesleycarter.wordpress.com/

Corporate Skirts http://corporateskirts.wordpress.com/

The Good Greatsby http://thegoodgreatsby.com/

Then list ten things about yourself:

Ten things you might (not want) to know about me:

I can ride a unicycle.

I want to run a 5K as soon as I’m fit enough.

I have crossed off two items on my bucket list in the last few years: Kissing the Blarney Stone, and going to Smead Island (a small island in the Connecticut River near Montague City, MA).

Swimming with Dolphins, traveling to Greece, writing a novel/memoir, and singing with Bono/U2 are the biggest items left on my bucket list.

Orbit is my favorite chewing gum.

Scooby-Doo, Looney Tunes, The Flintstones, and The Jetsons, are at the top of my favorite cartoons list.

I had never heard of ‘Cowpunk‘ until one of my band-mates said that’s our basic genre.  I thought we were classic rock, uptempo-ed country and pop.

I recorded my first song when I was eleven or twelve.

I lived in a commune/cult for over half of my childhood.

Davy Jones was my favorite Monkee, David Cassidy was my favorite Partridge, and John Lennon was my favorite Beatle – although Ringo Starr was a close second.

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I’m only listing other blogs I like for the One Lovely Awesome Blog Award requirements because I’ve already said enough about me!

Gingerfightback http://gingerfightback.com/

The Dissemination of Thought http://disseminatedthought.wordpress.com/

Colddeadheart’s Blog http://colddeadheart.wordpress.com/

Stories About My Life, 92% True http://93percenttrue.wordpress.com/

Life As Modern Wife http://lifeasmodernwife.com/

Sue Healy [Craft Tips For Writers] http://suehealy.org/

Anita Mac and Travel Destination Bucket List http://traveldestinationbucketlist.com/

Thecvillean http://thecvillean.wordpress.com/

Ghost Cities http://anilbalan.com/

Life As A Publisher http://karensyed.wordpress.com/

I so appreciate the awards given to me, apologize for my tardiness in posting about it and giving out props to other blogs I follow.  I hope you enjoy them too – and happy reading!

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Playing Dress-Up

I would have so many pretty dresses and outfits if I could afford it.  I’ve learned to shop at thrift stores fairly well, and I’m lucky to have friends who often have nice hand-me-downs.  Every once in a while I’m able to splurge and buy something new, but usually I drool over clothes I’d like to have.

I saw this dress at ModCloth:

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/a-bird-of-advice-dress

and think it’s sweet, but I’m not sure it’s the right colors for me.  I think these sandals would work with the dress for casual wear:

http://www.shoes.com/en-US/Product/EC1302543-5091949/Sam+Edelman/Citron_Truffle/Women%27s+Gigi.aspx

or maybe these for a more dressy occasion:

http://www.shoes.com/en-US/Product/08568-5192111/Etienne+Aigner/White/Women%27s+Milo.aspx

Another casual dress I liked from ModCloth is this flower-patterned sun dress, and while it’s not currently for sale, it’s one you can vote on in their ‘Be The Buyer’ section:

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/sample-1966

I like these dressier sandals for this dress:

http://www.shoes.com/en-US/Product/EC1328961-5187275/Sofft/Mocha/Women%27s+Gissella.aspx

Although these are nice too, for a softer look:

http://www.shoes.com/en-US/Product/24524-5187743/Etienne+Aigner/Coral+Wash/Women%27s+Wolf.aspx

I enjoy trying to accessorize for different effects.  Costuming is another aspect of theater that I learned about in the director’s workshop I took, and maybe I should consider being a clothing buyer as a profession as well?

May you stay cool if you’re somewhere hot (as it is here in Western MA), or find the right temperature for you wherever you are!  Cheers.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Picture This

The picture I’m viewing shows you and some of your family.  I haven’t seen your sisters in a while and I’m shocked by their age.  In my mind they’ve never changed.  I look again, my sight adjusted, and ‘oh, yes, now I see her as she was, and as she is, both’.  I mourn for those just meeting her, but I shouldn’t because I’m supposing that the past holds more value than today, and that’s my judgment, not anyone else’s.  My life orientation has grown to encompass so much more than I could possibly know from my old, stunted, vantage point.

My son, his friends, and I, are driving to the beach.  One of his friends, a young man barely out of his teens, speaks disdainfully of a woman we pass as we drive.  She’s in a white convertible Volkswagen Bug, a huge pink flower sits in the built in dashboard vase.

He says with a laugh that she’s trying to be ‘younger than she is’ by having that flower in the vase and the shirt she’s wearing.  I react internally, feeling myself withdraw, stung by his words that felt directed at me.  I chuckle, as though in agreement – a betrayal.  I wish I had been better prepared to parry, but I forfeited instead.

No, perspective-lacking boy, she’s not acting younger than she is – she’s being exactly who she is.  The secret that no one has told you yet, dear boy/man, is that this is it.  You are who you are.  You will grow and change and choose whatever works for you, but it’s all a façade.  You do your best to represent who you truly are, but can a picture do justice to the moment you took it?  You’re the only one who feels what it was like to be in that moment.  Maybe there was a slight breeze, and you felt free and caressed by the wind, perhaps by some otherworldly being or force, then.  Maybe the sun was bearing down on you, or a chill in the air made it difficult to keep your hand steady as you snapped the picture.

Until you’ve lived a full life, you have no valid basis to judge someone beyond your years on simple matters, even though you will.  What I wish I had known is that my body would change, but the essential me wouldn’t.  Maybe some people do change radically as they age, and all of us continue to grow – whether we like and/or accept it, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

I have loathed the term ‘act your age’ since I was in my teens.  Was there a manual that you came with that I somehow missed?  No, you want me to act, or be, at your comfort level, which has nothing to do with me.  I get that there are circumstances where we need consideration of others, and I think that’s what maturity is about, but otherwise, the only ‘rules’ are the ones you give yourself, or try to impose on others.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Thoughts On The Go

Publicity photo of Andy Griffith, Don Knotts a...
Publicity photo of Andy Griffith, Don Knotts and Jim Nabors from The Andy Griffith Show. Andy tries to help out the town band, but Barney and Gomer aren’t so sure he’s helping them. The episode is “The Sermon for Today”. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been traveling the last few days and haven’t had computer access for more than a couple of minutes.  I got to spend some time with old friends in Maine, and another friend outside of Boston, and now I’m going to visit family in Rhode Island.

I was quite sad to hear that Andy Griffith died – as well as Ernest Borgnine.  Andy Griffith helped me through my childhood by representing the father I wish I had, and by remaining on television through specials and through his Matlock series.  I never watched Matlock more than once or twice, but just knowing he was still around was comforting to me.

Ernest Borgnine didn’t elicit the same kind of emotional response in me that Andy Griffith did, but I found him entertaining and funny (unless he was performing in a serious role, of course).

Time is moving on.  With every person from my parents’ generation that passes away, I feel pulled that much closer to the end of my life’s track as well.  I know I’m still pretty much in the middle of my life – and if I weren’t so tired, I’d celebrate that…

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Fleeting Moment

Life is entirely fleeting moments, so any photo could do for this challenge – any moment will never be again.  However, my take on a fleeting moment is one that wasn’t orchestrated.

A friend and I traveled to Cape Cod a few years ago, and had a marvelous time.  We were driving back to our hotel at dusk when we noticed a few coyotes in the field off to the right.  The pictures aren’t great, but I’m glad I captured one of the coyotes, and I especially like the zoom shot:

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Mike Isn’t That Magic

I went to see Magic Mike with some girlfriends this afternoon.  I’m grateful I only lost $5.50 and an hour or so of my time.  Yeah, we left the movie early.  I was so happy when my one of my friends said she wouldn’t be opposed to leaving, to which our other friend heartily agreed.  I figured it would exploit women over men (lots of gratuitous boob shots, commentary), but even the men’s dancing was a snore.  I knew it would be a fluff piece – it’s about male exotic dancing, after all.  But one part of the male anatomy (and we know we’re talking about a sweet looking ass here because penises are not all that pleasant-looking), is not enough to make a compelling movie.  It might make a salacious half-hour, but that’s about it.  After that, you really need a plot line – a better plot line than they came up with.  Sadly, Cody Horn‘s role was wasted in this movie.  She tried valiantly to save the movie with her acceptable acting, but her efforts were in vain.  I hope she gets higher quality roles in the future.  Channing Tatum is good-looking, and moves well, which is why my friends and I stayed a half-hour longer than we would have based on the rest of the movie.  Matthew McConaughey tries to cash in on his ‘pretty-boy’ persona, but ‘pretty-boy turned business-shark’ doesn’t ring true in this performance.  You would swear the dialogue was cut and pasted from some High School freshman’s plagiarized English paper, while an attempt to distract you with a bait and switched ‘tits and ass’ maneuver happens in front of you.  “Hey, don’t look at how bad our movie is, here’s some more gratuitous soft porn!”

Yeah, save your money for fireworks this weekend which will thrill you far more than this movie could ever hope to.

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.

Chocolate, A Love Story

Chocolate rarely disappoints me.  Sometimes, when I eat certain brands that were alright in the past, I expect satisfaction for my chocolate craving, but end up being turned off because old favorites now taste too sweet.  I used to love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, but they just don’t taste as good as they used to.  Maybe my taste buds have changed, but give me a piece of Dove dark chocolate, or Cadbury dark chocolate, and I am in confection heaven.

Sadly, chocolate straddles the line between healthy and unhealthy – the sugar content necessary to overcome chocolate’s natural bitterness.  I remember finding a bar of baking chocolate in our pantry when I was little, and thought my mother was hoarding her own private stash.  After chomping a generous bite, my glee quickly turned to disgust as I spit it out, nearly retching.  Adding insult to injury was my mother discovering me in that moment and laughing at my misery while telling me it served me right.

Chocolate produces chemicals in your brain that are also created when you fall in love, so it’s no wonder we can’t get enough of it.  I suppose I’ve become more sophisticated as I’ve grown because not any chocolate will do anymore, which seems to correlate to the men I’m interested in.  Hmmmm  😀

I’ve always hated the generic chocolate I’d get on Easter, or Valentine’s Day.  That chocolate has a somewhat waxy, and almost chemical taste that I no longer find palatable.  Interestingly enough though, I also don’t favor high-end chocolates like Godiva, or some others.  I have never found them superior to some mid-level chocolatiers, but I did enjoy the chocolate I ate in Switzerland. I especially enjoy what a friend and I affectionately term ‘lint-balls’: Lindt, Lindor, chocolates.

I prefer dark chocolate, but there are some milk chocolates I’ve had over the years that are wonderful as well, and I regularly have some form of chocolate in my house.  I have much better control over my chocolate consumption than I do alcohol, so I allow myself to purchase several bars when there’s a good sale.  I don’t get high from chocolate, and I usually get satiated without being excessive.  Maybe there is a kind of ephemeral high associated with chocolate because it nearly always helps ease my crankiness associated with PMS, and was one of the (literally and figuratively) sweet things an old boyfriend would buy me once a month.

Thank you, chocolate, for helping make this life a bit more bearable. ♥

Zürich: Confiserie Sprüngli

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Life On Earth’s Blog, 2010 – infinity.