Sea(son) Change

I’ve mentioned that transitions are tough. Over-arching changes, like the season, the landscape, life & death, create dissonance (some more than others) to which I respond seeking consonance.

Mr. Holland’s Opus exemplified the hero’s journey archetype that has always stayed with me, and of course the title’s double entendre showcases how the story is not only literal – about his life as a musician – but his mental & spiritual journey from inexperience to mastery, immaturity to maturity.

All that happens in life, all that I conquer, or that conquers me, is just part of the story. I often feel used or abused by the cosmos, that I’m a bit player in some story I was thrust into, tripping over myself, getting the words wrong, and singing off-pitch.

But I keep stepping out onto the stage, is the thing.

You’re not going to find inspirational motivation from me, often more Eeyore-ish than Tigger-ish, but you’ll find I’m true, that I’m continually striving toward mastery.

Several religious or spiritual works have described self-mastery as the first order of business; I’m hoping it doesn’t take the better part of my life to realize some self-mastery, but just as everything else in life sometimes this is as good as it gets, and I need to make peace with where I am without proverbially throwing the baby out with the bath water.

E. K. Brough’s words comfort me: “And remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.”

https://www.thefreshquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Remember-We-All-Stumble-Every-One-Of-Us.-ThatS-Why-ItS-A-Comfort-To-Go-Hand-In-Hand.-%C2%BB-Emily-Kimbrough.jpg
E.K. Brough, aka, Emily Kimbrough

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Abstractly Distracted’s Blog, 2010 – current

 

Support Wishes

There are so many crowd-funded creations I wish I could support, and wish I could own!  One of my favorites is the Ombee adjustable stand up desk with swivel pads for standing and eliminating fatigue.

Another is the Stand desk, but that’s more expensive, and not mobile like the Ombee stand up desk.

I’d like to market my music with crowd-funding, but I don’t have any videos, and most of my songs are in the rough cut stage, so I have to afford studio time to make them marketable.

Several years ago, I purchased a share in, Story Forge, when I had $5 bucks to spare.  It was nice to see the project funded, and I do like the cards.  They’re a great resource for story-telling.  My brain, however, fights all my efforts at consistency and overcoming procrastination, but some new tools I got from Learning How To Learn have helping me advance my writing work.

If I could even purchase the anti-fatigue mats from Ombee,

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/ombee-the-modular-and-mobile-stand-up-desk#/
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/ombee-the-modular-and-mobile-stand-up-desk#/

that would be a great help in my ability to keep working at my make-shift stand-up desk called the kitchen counter and a few thick books. 🙂

I’m working long-distance with my writing partner now, and while slow, at least I’ve made more progress with her than I have on my own for many years.

The time of year plays a big role in my depression, often over-taking me mid-winter through early spring.  Light box therapy, and a new antidepressant I’m hoping will get me through the roughest spots this year – fingers crossed! – and I’m doing my best to stay present rather than in regret from the past, or anxiety of the future.

All we’ve got is now.

But without education, training, and dedication to my mission, current efforts are doomed, so planning for the future is important too.  I’d rather have a reliable map than keep going off course into the scary wilds of my life.

my life map so far

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© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh) and Abstractly Distracted’s Blog, 2010 – current