My son is getting his first apartment with college friends. I’m pretending it’s not a big deal. I mean, he’s been away at college for two years now, so, it’s basically the same thing. Except it isn’t. He’s had his bed and most of his stuff here, and in three days and several hours, it will all be gone. I’m trying to stay in the moment, and not trouble trouble until trouble troubles me, as the saying goes.
I was in my son’s room packing up what I can until he gets here and pares down what he wants to get rid of. He already told me he’s not sentimental and doesn’t want his old school year books, or photos, or other keepsakes, but I am sentimental, so I’m keeping most of it. He may have a wife and/or children some day who will actually enjoy seeing some of the things from his youth. It isn’t exactly archeology, but it is history, and I loved seeing my ex-boyfriends’ childhood pictures. It’s a way to connect the past to the present and beyond. I so enjoy looking at my Mom and Dad’s pictures of their youth and childhood. Ever since my Dad died several years ago, those pictures have taken on more meaning. Even though I often rail against life, I also revel in life’s complexity and variety. I embrace change as much as I loathe it. I may not like changing all the time, but as long as I have company, it’s really not too bad.
I’ll be fine with this new life passage, I’m just not overjoyed. I also know that many people are overjoyed to have their personal time back when their children get older and leave home, and maybe I’ll feel that way, eventually.
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Making A Way 
I cracked open a bottle of champagne when the last of our two went out on his own. I saw it as a time when we could enjoy each other more as a couple. Don’t get me wrong. I loved having and raising kids. But life moves on and you’re going to experience it anyway, why not accentuate the positive sides? It’s not like you never see them again. This may be a totally male perspective but we have enjoyed our kids even more as adults. (And, of course, having grandkids is just the icing on the cake.)
Thanks, Al! No, I need to hear that male perspective! I am definitely enjoying my son as an adult, even though it’s a loose term for me. I know he can, and does, face whatever comes his way, but for me, he’ll always be my boy – even though I see the man he’s become(ing)! Thanks for commenting! Jerri
I remember when my younger son, the baby of the family, went off to college. I felt empty and I cried for a couple of days. It got easier though with each passing day. I figure that’s what I raised my children to do..to be able to go out on their own and take their place in the world. Just the fact that he’s able to move away from home is good. Believe it or not, there are some who are too afraid to ever leave.
Thanks, Brenda! Most of the time I’m settled into him being away, but this step is far more permanent! I knew it was coming, and I really am proud of the young, independent man he’s become. It’s just getting through it and accepting the change – and I know, just like you – I’ll be fine sooner rather than later! 🙂
It’s as hard for us as it is for you all, though most of us won’t admit it. 🙂
Thanks for reading and commenting! Yeah, I know that my son has more feelings about all the changes in his life too, even if he doesn’t focus on them as much as I seem to! Cheers. 🙂
The first day of the empty room is the hardest. And then it gets easier 🙂
Thanks for reading my post and commenting! Yeah, when he first went off to college I was kind of like a zombie for a few months, but then it got better. Life is never dull, eh? 🙂 Jerri
We have three so we’ve experienced the move out (oldest went from college apartment to house); the off-to-college and home again a year later; (middle one is now preparing to graduate and move out on his own),and in another year, the youngest will be off to college. Every stage of their childhood has been anything but dull, and almost always bittersweet in some way, especially when you stand back and put it in perspective. And I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂
I just wish I had the perspective back then that I have now. I know that’s a common lament but until you really feel it yourself, it’s just a wise-sounding phrase. It’s definitely true that every stage of his childhood has been bittersweet. I miss his babyhood and that tiny boy who often wanted me to hold him. I’m also grateful to be through those because of how overwhelming it was at times, but I’m still happy to have had the chance! Cheers.
My children at different times when they became ‘of age’ thought they wanted to move in with some friends, but after finding out the cost of lodging, food, laundry (not to be brought home to Mom to do) they decided it wasn’t too bad after all to stay at home.
Their friends were welcomed into our home …but no ‘party time’ parties!
There are those that most happily look forward to their children moving out…I wasn’t one of them either…Diane
Thanks for your thoughts, Diane. Yeah, I hope they survive the year because they signed a lease – with my co-signature, of course! Maybe I’ll have to move in with them! (but I hope not…)
Cheers. 🙂