I heard something today that I heard a long time ago, but keep forgetting: it is none of my business what anyone else thinks of me, and none of anyone else’s business what I think of them. What I think is irrelevant.
Tending to my own life, to my own path, is all that is required of me.
I cannot count on anyone else – it isn’t fair to put that burden on anyone – but it sure is nice to have friends who don’t mind walking beside me time to time through this world.
My job is to meet people where they are and have no expectations of them. It sounds easy, but it’s not.
I hate change, and I hate having to change. LOL
It’s uncomfortable, it’s painful, even, but it’s life.
Is there some being or force overseeing all of this, guiding us, or willing to guide us if we so choose?
I have no idea.
Sometimes I would like to believe that, but in order to accept that I have to also accept that that force or being is also cool with horror. So I stay away.
Let it be.
I don’t want to argue anyone else’s philosophy, or point of view. Evil exists. We see it every day. It’s so enormous that it’s almost paralyzing, and I have to tune it out.
Maybe I’m a coward. Maybe I deserve all that I get.
I don’t know.
I believed in love. I really thought love would change the world. I really thought showing up and speaking out would change the world for the better.
Maybe it has and I can’t see it.
I don’t know. It feels like just a lot of wasted energy.
I have been very naïve my whole life. I was idealistic, I was hopeful. I’m not ready to give into the forces of evil, but they feel stronger than the forces of love lately.
I’m ready to leave the world – whenever my time comes. I believe I have done my best.
My imagination leads me to a quiet place out in the universe somewhere. There is no sight or sound, and no worries. There is no happiness, no sadness, no anger, no hate, but also no love. It’s just energy, I guess. At least that’s what science says. Energy is neither created nor destroyed, and everything must go somewhere.
© seekingsearchingmeaning (aka Hermionejh), Making A Way Blog, 2010 – current